Enough

As I have been meditating on trust and through circumstances in my life I have realized that I am scared to hope for what seems like the impossible. I am scared to hope. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Jesus help me to trust you enough to have hope. 

ENOUGH

 -by kari smith

Scared to hope because I have been disappointed before. 

Scared to dream because dreams have shattered before. 

Scared to let myself believe that I am worth it because I have not been worth it before. 

It is hard to realize your own demons.

It's hard to stare at your fears in the face. 

It is scary to hope in something you think is unattainable and even more scary to think that it might be attainable...if only. 

If only I were good enough. 

If only I were funny enough. 

If only I were interesting enough. 

If only I were pretty enough. 

If only...

The "if onlys" crowd my thoughts and cloud my vision. 

I ache and yearn and dream of this seemingly unattainable thing 

and then chastise myself for daring to hope. 

My head and my heart cry out "Stop! You've been down this road before and it has lead to nothing but heartache and shattered hope. Don't go there again." 

And for awhile I listen. 

I listen to the warnings in my head. 

I begin to steel my heart. 

I give up hope.

And then, soft as a whisper, Your voice speaks.

Speaks to me of promise.

Speaks to me of hope.

Speaks to me of dreams.

And You say, "Fear not, for I am with you.

I summon you by name.

You are mine.

Don't steel your heart to me.

Dare to hope.

Dare to dream.

Dare to trust in Me."  

I fall into your arms crying,

Longing

Wanting to hope

Wanting to dream

Wanting to believe that I am 

...good enough. 

...funny enough. 

...interesting enough. 

...pretty enough.