The Long-Awaited Update!

After many months I am finally tackling the impossible, updating my blog! Since I haven't updated in about 5 months I will give a brief update about each month.

July

July started after I finished my triathlon. Here are a few pictures of the event:




























The rest of July was spent enjoying the summer-hanging out outside, going to my cousin's wedding, spending time on the lake. I also participated in my first ever mud volleyball tournament. It was a blast!!
















August

August was a bit of a whirlwind at first with the end of the YouthWorks summer. I got to help out at the Minneapolis Exit RAMP, which allowed me to spend more time with some of the staff I had gotten to know over the summer. It was also spent trying to figure out my next steps career-wise. After interviewing and agonizing and looking for new jobs for weeks I accepted a position in the Training Department at YouthWorks. It is a 30 hour position (with benefits, thanks Lord!) so I have been doing some other odd jobs to supplement my income.

The MN State Fair was also a highlight of the month and some friends and I biked there from our house. It was a great time, walking around and sampling all the traditional fare that comes with the great MN get together.















September

September started out with a Labor Day weekend trip to NE WI. We went to stay at the cabin of a friend and then spent a day on Madeline Island. It was a great way to end the summer and bring in the fall.





















After 3 years of thinking about going back to school and pursuing graphic design I signed up for a course at the Minneapolis Community and Technical College. I took a class called Intro to Graphic Software and absolutely loved it! It was fun to be back in the college setting and to be pursuing something that I love. It was a bit hard to get back into the homework mode but for the most part I loved it all.

September was also the month where I moved into a new decade-30. To celebrate my roommate Danita decided that it was going to be a month of 30 days of 30 and celebrated my birthday every single day. I felt so loved and cared for by all the people who participated and I was also astounded by how much my friend knew me. It made turning 30 a whole lot easier. Some of the highlights included a birthday scavenger hunt, delicious treats delivered to work by many different friends, a weekend trip to Duluth, fun excursions around Minneapolis and the best gift, a scrapbook of my time in the Twin Cities. Almost daily I was left speechless by the love that surrounds me here.





















October

October included many fall type things-trips to the apple orchard, a cabin in WI, celebrating the birthday of one of our roommates, and seeing my nephew in his Halloween parade. It was also the month that I started my new position at YouthWorks. It was great to finally be working in that department and with the other 2 ladies on my team. I love the new position and am excited to go to work everyday.





















November

When November hit my nephew turned 4 and I was struck by how much he is resembling a little boy now instead of a toddler. In another couple years he will be in school, which is really crazy to think about.
















We also hosted our first ever Crock-Pot Cook-Off at our house About 30 people came over with crock-pots in tow. There was a lot of great food and conversation. We are already looking forward to next year's cook-off.












November was also the month that we had to put my grandpa Smith in the nursing home. Since I was born when he was in his 50's, it has been hard to watch him grow older. About 2 years ago he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and we are finally starting to see some of the effects from that. We went to visit him in he nursing home at Thanksgiving and it was really hard to see him break down and cry multiple times. I havemany fond memories of him over the years and I am sad to think that the end may be near for him.

December

December came in with a burst of Christmas music and signs of the season all around (well, actually November came in with Christmas displays being put up in all the stores). I love this time of year so it was fun to have holiday music, lights, and decorations making their appearance on lawns all over. December has also brought with it mountains of snow and cold making it one of the coldest and snowiest December's we have had for a long time. This year, more so than any other, I have had a hard time embracing winter and I often find myself wishing I were living somewhere a little south of here. Maybe that means my time in MN is coming to an end, who knows. But for now, I am trying to have a better attitude about driving on icy roads while being very bundled up. Thankfully, all the Christmas signs and happenings helped to make it a little easier.

Triathlon...I Finished!

As many of you know, I competed in my first ever triathlon on June 29 in Rochester, MN. The triathlon consisted of a 1/4 mile swim, a 10.2 mile bike, and a 3.2 mile run. The training was hard and took a lot of mental determination to complete but it got me through the race. My goal was 1. to finish and 2. to run the entire last portion. I accomplished both of my goals. I finished the race in 1 hour and 40 minutes, not the fastest time on the planet but I ran the entire 3.2 miles! A great accomplishment considering that back in January I couldn't even run 1 mile without my asthma kicking in. 

(internet is super slow tonight so I'll add some pictures later!)

Thanks Lord for the strength and stamina to finish this race and to complete this goal! 

The Joys of Starting

I got to spend 2 weeks this summer as a YouthWorks Starter. What that means is that I travel to one of our mission sites for a week to help the staff get up and running. I am an extra set of hands as well as a voice of experience to help them run a successful first week for our participants. 

My first starting adventure took me to Sisseton, SD. A small town on the South Dakota/Minnesota border. I drove there from the Twin Cities and after my 4 hour car ride was grateful to find an incredible and caring staff at the other end. One of them had seen YouthWorks before as a high school youth; other than that they were greener than green to the YouthWorks world.  They were amazing though and did a great job. When Friday came I didn't want to go and they didn't want me to leave. We all put off my departure as long as possible and even tried to brainstorm a few ways that I could stay with them. After being there for a week (and immediately jumping back into Area Director mode-I have done that job for the last 5 years so it was easy to slip into) I began to see all the ways I was hoping that they would be grown and stretched this summer-in their faith, as well as individually. It was a sad realization to face that I wouldn't be getting that chance personally but would have to suffice with updates from their Area Director as well as random phone calls to them throughout the summer. I loved my time at Lake Traverse and was sad to leave. 

Me and the Site Director for Lake Traverse, Mandy

we're looking pretty good for being sleep deprived and unshowered!

Next I headed up to Sault Ste Marie, MI (which is on the Upper Peninsula right next to Canada), which was a site I had been Area Director for the year before. I was excited to head back to a familiar place but I was still missing the Lake Traverse team and was a little bit nervous to be meeting a new set of staff. Upon my arrival I found 4 very laid back people who seemed to have a lot of problems taking initiative and making decisions. I didn't seem to connect with them as quickly or as naturally as I had with the Lake Traverse team and I was afraid that I was in for a very long and very hard week. I have rarely been more grateful to say that I was wrong. While the staff was still pretty laid back and somewhat quiet, they jumped in and did a great job. I ended up having a blast with them, especially the Site Director who is somewhat of an absurd quirky but really quality guy. By Thursday night I couldn't think about going home because I wanted to break into tears. I hate good-byes in the first place and now I was saying good-bye to the second set of great staff that I had just begun to get to know. As with Lake Traverse, I saw areas in each of their lives that I hoped they would grow in this summer. The whole plane trip home (all 4 airports of it), I tried not to think about the fact that I was 1. done being out for the summer and would have to go back to the office and sit behind a desk (being on site reminded me how much I love what I do and about why I do it) and 2. that I was leaving 4 people that I really wanted to spend more time with (not to mention the 4 from Lake Traverse whom I was already missing).  I felt so blessed by the 2 weeks I got to be out in communities working with youth and adults. It was an amazingly refreshing and uplifting time, despite how tired I was upon returning home.It is such an amazing feeling to put your faith into action and to be filled with so much purpose. 

The Sault Ste Marie Staff-Ross, Reuben-the Site Director, Erin, & Shannon at Iriqouis lighthouse on Lake Superior. We went there for a little sight seeing/quiet time fun! Notice the sweatshirts-despite being the end of June it was a bit chilly out there. I was wearing jeans,  a long sleeve shirt, a light fleece jacket and a hat! 

Me with the staff at our Thursday night evening activity-going to the home of on of our community friends who lives on Lake Superior for swimming (or a polar dip), kayaking, and bonfire fun. Again, we are freezing so we are in our warm clothes! 

All in all I loved starting and it has been fun to continue to keep up with the staff in those 2 places. I regularly get text messages from each place asking when I can come back and the Site Director in Sault Ste Marie has even added me to his weekly e-mail updates he sends to friends and family back home. 

Happy Birthday America!

This is the first 4th of July that I have ever had in Minneapolis. For the last 8 years I have celebrated the 4th in some random town with summer staff and YouthWorks participants.  It was weird to think that when I got done with work at 4:00 (yes, we had to work today, but we get lots of other days off during the year to make up for it and we got to have a huge picnic which was fun) I had the entire evening free. I didn't have to worry about finishing up Club and figuring out how to get participants to and from the fireworks as well as getting them to bed at a decent hour. Instead I took a short nap and then headed over to some friends house for a BBQ. It was the perfect evening. We sat and chilled in the backyard. The sun was shining, it was warm (but not too warm), the food was delicious and we lounged around for about 3 hours eating and watching the kids play in the pool. It was exactly what I needed. Then me and 2 friends walked to a nearby park to watch the fireworks. I can home feeling really relaxed and thankful for such a great evening. 

Father thank you for great friends and relaxing evenings. Thank you for the perfect weather and the chance to be outside celebrating this nation with all the different people that live in my neighborhood. Thank you for providing in ways that I didn't even know I needed. 

(P.S. I know I haven't written anything about my month of June-starting 2 YouthWorks sites and doing a triathlon. Keep checking back, those things are next on my list to post about! )

It Has Begun

It has begun, another YouthWorks summer. Summer number 8. I'm not out in the field this year which is a change. Of the last 8 summers, 6 of them have been spent in random areas of the country serving staff and communities from as many different walks of life as stars in the sky. I was curious to see how I would feel this summer about my limited role out on the front lines but I am surprisingly contented.  I know that this is where I need to be for now. I get have little tastes and reminders of life as a YouthWorks summer staff, which is really nice and I think what will tide me over. I was in El Paso last week helping to train our Mexico and Puerto Rico staff and tomorrow I am heading to Sisseton, SD to help our Lake Traverse team get started. After that I head to Sault Ste Marie, MI to help the team up there and then after my triathlon and a couple days off I am back in the office in July. Summer is going to fly by. 

What has also begun is my next journey with the Lord. Everyday I get more and more excited about this upcoming year and the promises it holds. I know the Lord is going to be revealing some amazing things to me in this next season and piece by piece over the last month He has begun the revealing process. This week I signed up for my first graphic design course, which is one piece of this next journey. I am excited to be diving into this dream that I have had for a few years and am anxious to see what the Lord is going to do with it. I look forward to more and more of it being revealed as days and weeks go by, and I just keep praying that God would give me the patience I need to accept these things in His timing. The possibilities are endless and I serve a God who can and will do "immeasurably more than all I can ask or imagine." Of that I am certain, and of that is where my hope lies! I can't wait to share this journey with you as it is revealed to me step by step. 

Pictures from my time in El Paso last week:

This is what greeted staff who arrived last week. We had a western theme.

This is the entire Mexico/Puerto Rico Region-they are a blast. 

Adam and Alex all dressed up with nowhere to go. 

An Amazing Evening

I got to participate in my first bonfire of the season last night. A friend from work invited us all up to his parent's house. They live north of the Twin Cities about 45 minutes and live on a lake. About 20 of us from YouthWorks went up for the evening and had a blast playing volleyball, grilling out, talking, and having a bonfire. 

There are few things that are more relaxing to me than hanging out at a lake with buddies. The evening really reminded me how fortunate I am to work with the people that I do. There were many moments throughout the course of the evening where I forgot that I was with co-workers. It left me a little speechless and feeling so blessed by the fellowship and love that surrounded me. I got home that night (or should I say morning because it was 1 am) and fell into bed with a smile on my face. 

Thank you Lord for showing me your love through the people I spend most of my days with. 

Indescribable, Lord you are

Indescribable, uncontainable,

You placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name.

You are amazing, God.

All powerful, untamable,

Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim

That you are amazing, God.

Incomparable, Unchangeable,

You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same.

You are amazing, God.

How I love this song. The words of it are so powerful. Thinking about God as indescribable, uncontainable, all powerful, untamable, Incomparable, and unchangeable make Him so huge. So powerful, so mighty. They leave me feeling as if the Lord fills the room with His might and His power. It leaves me feeling humbled that He would care for me, one small person on an earth of billions. It makes me humbled to think that I matter to him. That He loves me and cherishes me more than I will ever know. I sing this song and am often left breathless and overwhelmed by the goodness of the Lord. Goodness that knows no bounds or human limits. Goodness and moves beyond anything that I can fathom. Goodness that is never changing and perfect as it is. I am left feeling as if I don't have the adequate words to express my thanksgiving to a God that "sees the depths of my heart and yet loves me the same."

Father thank you for being a God who is so huge. Thank you for loving and cherishing me the way you do when I am simply me, broken, hurting, imperfect me. Thank you that you have placed within me a little piece of you. A piece of you that is lovely. A piece of you that is worthy. A piece of you that is wonderful. Help me to spread those pieces around to all I meet that others may see you as indescribable, uncontainable, all powerful, untamable, incomparable, and unchangeable. 

Next Steps...

I went to visit MCTC (Minneapolis Community and Technical College) tonight.  Just walking in the door, actually pulling into the parking ramp got me really excited at the prospect of going back to school to study graphic design. I talked to one of the teachers in the Graphic Design department, chatted with an admissions rep and took a campus tour.  The campus, in downtown Minneapolis, is really pretty and fairly new. The college has a great reputation for graphic design, and was even recommended to me by an admissions counselor from a design school. I am thinking about working towards an AA Degree.  

All in all it was a great visit, so great in fact, that I came home and applied online. I am hoping to take a class or 2 starting in the fall. 

This has been a dream of mine for a long time so it is exciting to be taking some actual steps towards it. Thanks to my friends who have pushed me and who haven't let me just continue to talk about this. 

Please continue to be in prayer for me as I begin this process. 

Trying so hard to reach you.

Running and running until I'm out of breath.

Unsure how to get there yet

Sure You are there

Trusting

The Movie of Life

Sometimes I think life would be so much easier if it was like a movie. My hair and make-up would always look perfectly done (including right away in the morning or after a good cry-fest), all of my life's problems would be solved within the course of about 2 hours, and I would meet the perfect guy in some random place upon which we have this whirlwind romance, a horrible fight and then an amazing reconciliation which includes him professing his undying  love and affection for me. After that, we would ride off into the sunset to have a blissful, adventuresome life together where we don't worry about anything but what we will eat for dinner. 

How different real life is. My hair and make-up are always a wreck (for some reason I still haven't mastered make-up and I often end up looking like a prepubescent girl who is playing dress-up with her mama's things, and my hair and I have given up on one another), my life's problems are never solved in a couple hours time, and I have yet to meet an amazing guy in a random place and have him fall madly in love with me at first sight. 

Life, unlike in the movies, is fraught with many unknowns and much doubt and uncertainty. Real life relationships (friendships and romantic alike) are never pretty and involve a large amount of work and self-sacrifice. You never find "the perfect" job, house, car, furniture, clothing, haircut, mate, co-workers...life. But that reminds me that my life here was never meant to please me or to be perfect because I live in a fallen world, with fallen people. What I truly look for and seek is what comes next. A place I know almost nothing about but a place that my heart cries out for everyday. Don't get me wrong, there are many things to celebrate in this life and many moments of joy and happiness. But I am talking about true unadulterated contentment. Contentment that speaks of endless bliss and happiness. Contentment that comes from feeling 100% at home. Contentment unlike any I will experience in this life but contentment that I will live everyday with in the next one. 

Life...Why Does It Have To Be So Dang Hard?

The past week has been a little rough emotionally. When I was younger I thought that all my insecurities, all the times that I didn't feel like I fit in, all the work friendships/relationships takes, would all magically become easier. We would all get along because we are adults. We would all be less selfish because we "know" that we should put others before ourselves. We would be confident in who we are because, well, who cares. 

Sadly, this isn't true. Friendships/relationships don't become easier. The frustrations and arguments and fights look different, but they are still there. Being sinful people, we still have to work at putting others before ourselves, and often it is easier to think only of what I want when I want it. I still fight all the same insecurities that I have since the day I knew what those were-am I boring? Am I too ugly? Am I too fat? Does anyone like me? What if I say the wrong thing? It's true that they have a lot less power over me now than they did when I was 15, but I am sad to say that they are still there. Looming in the back of my mind. Waiting for just the right moment to pop into my head. Moments when I am feeling down and out. Moments when life gets hard. 

So often I feel alone. I have been blessed with some amazing people who I call friends, but so many days I long for someone to truly know me and to care for me. Someone who can look at me and know that I what I need right now is a hug or a kind word. Someone who loves me for who I am-goofiness and all. Someone who can just hold me and help the worries of life fade away, if only for a few moments. I know that the Lord is what I should find my sufficiency in, but sometimes I long for someone with skin on. Someone who can walk this life of faith with me. Who can rejoice in the Lord with me. Who can share in my suffering and pain. 

3 Miles!

I ran 3 miles today and mostly in a row. For those who don't me as well, this is a HUGE accomplishment for me and my athsma. And the fact that I ran over two miles all in a row, walked only for about one sixth of a mile and then ran the rest is a big deal! It gave me the training boost that I needed. The boost that said that all this time and energy spent in the gym aren't a waste of my time! 

Here's to many more 3 mile runs! Now if only swimming could become a little easier...

Triathlon Training

As you may or may not know, I started training for a triathlon last month (January). The prospect of completing a race like this is really invigorating and a little bit scary. Having exercise induced asthma makes something like this a very daunting challenge. Because of the asthma it takes me quite awhile to build up the breathing endurance, and often I get impatient. This past week of training was one of those times. Training really kicked my butt.  It was truly an act of the will to drag myself to the Y everyday knowing that I wouldn't leave for at least and hour and a half. After the workouts I always feel great but in the midst of them I would question why I was putting myself through this torture.  Thankfully, I am not training for this race alone and my fellow trainers were there to encourage and pick me up. I think that this will definitely be a test of my self discipline and my will. I am encouraged to have already seen results, but I know that I still have a long road ahead of me. 

Here's to a test of my will!